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NIGERIA TODAY: The Brown-Envelope Dialogue

In ANYTHING on February 21, 2012 at 8:32 am

Foreign Reporter: Reports reaching us indicate that journalism has been held hostage in Nigeria since 1999.

Nigerian Journalist: That’s stupid! Journalism is OK. It’s journalist who are held hostage.

Foreign Reporter (continues): Having drifted away from past excellence and dynamism, Nigerian journalism is now called “cash-n-carry” journalism.
******************************************************
With us here is Mr. Methuselah Brown-Envelope…Welcome.

Brown-Envelope: Thank you very much. You’ve only started the obvious. How do I survive on a take-home pay that doesn’t take me beyond the beer parlour?

Foreign Reporter: You mean Nigerian journalists are poorly remunerated?

Brown-Envelope: Are you asking me? Not only are they poorly paid, they’re hardly paid. Besides, they don’t get further training to enhance their work.

Foreign Reporter: How do they survive?

Brown-Envelope: Lemme assure you that they don’t steal, kidnap, bunker oil nor throw bomb. They’re too intellectual for that. All we do is some little blackmailing: “Ah, we won’t use your story unless you give some money oh!”; “Mr. MD I have information that are damaging to your company, what do you want us to do?” “Senator So-and-So, there are some undesirable elements in your constituency who are championing your downfall, they’ve paid us to do a critical story on you. But we won’t. Please settle your boys!”

Foreign Reporter: Oh really?

Brown-Envelope: Oh yeah!

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